I don’t want Christmas to be over, I don’t want the eldest two back at school, I don’t want to take the decorations down. I love the magic of Christmas. The way it makes everything seem so much more cosy and calm. I don’t know whether it’s because I am a December child myself or whether it’s just me trying to escape reality. I had a hard time at the start of December this year. After two ruined Christmases (well actually four but the two previous weren’t because of Dylan’s illness) I was feeling jaded and depressed. I’ve probably overcompensated this year and spent too much money, put up too much tinsel and eaten too much food, but eventually I got into the spirit and now I don’t want it to end.
January is always a dreary miserable month as is much of February. Putting aside that it is Mike’s birthday soon it feels like it’s a long slog of cold wet weather whilst we all wait for Spring. It also reminds me now of the month we were told Dylan was likely terminal two years ago and brings back worries of him coping in the cold and with all the germs January brings. Luckily at least Dylan is nearing six months post treatment so he will be safe to catch chicken pox by the time that season rolls around!
To be truthful we’ve been VERY lucky in 2017 and have had a wonderful year. We’ve been on lots of days out and mini breaks. We had an amazing holiday at Disneyland Paris that is the best holiday I personally have ever had so far. Dylan barely got sick. He finished chemo and rang the bell and he got his line removed. For a boy that was considered to be terminal the year before he really showed us all he was determined to live life! The eldest has grown LOADS and started juniors and football this year. I can see him changing into a young man already and he makes me so proud. And the littlest is such a character, he is cheeky and has such a sense of humour for one so small it’s like he has been on this earth before.
Not everybody has had a good year. Family members have had tough times including just yesterday on the first day of a new year! Friends and acquaintances have lost loved ones. Lots of children we know of have lost their battles with deadly diseases. In lots of ways 2017 was pretty awful so in our little ‘bubble’ of five we feel very blessed. It makes me worry that because we’ve had such a good year.. that now something bad will happen and crash all our hopes and dreams for the future.
I hope that 2018 is kind to everybody. Bad things will always happen that is part of life sadly. But I pray for no unexpected surprises and health and happiness for my loved ones and their loved ones. It’s a sad truth when you’ve come to accept that in life people get sick and sometimes it’s your own children or parents or spouses. A lot of people never contemplate their own mortality until it happens to their family, but it certainly encourages you to live life to the fullest and to cherish every moment. And that is my only resolution for this year again.. to continue to make memories and cherish every single day with a grateful heart.. <3
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