Prayers

Yesterday my beautiful boy almost lost his fight. He took a rapid turn for the worse and we nearly lost him on the floor at playgroup.. had it not been for the calm and collected actions of one of the staff I don't doubt we would have done...

He is still fighting for his life in ICU at Nottingham's QMC with a bilateral pneumothorax and he is very weak.

Every second, minute, hour is torture but it is currently 18 hours post resuss and he is still fighting so I am praying for him..

Whether I believe in a god after all this is questionable, but the truth is we were at church playgroup and had we not gone I would no doubt have lost him at home alone by myself.. 

Most of all I am praying to him, pleading for him to fight this and pull through, praying his little body gets stronger and begging him to hold on..

We finally have a diagnosis for him.. it arrived, ironically, shortly after we transferred to the QMC..

Langerhans Cell Histocytosis

This means he needs chemo BUT if his little body is strong enough it is something he can fight and can beat at least unlike many of the other things we feared he could have.. I just hope this diagnosis hasn't come too late and I pray and pray to anybody who is listening to help him fight.. he is so brave and so strong and I have faith he will try as hard as he possibly can but I am petrified!

I was warned at Derby, before transferring to QMC, that he might not make it but my faith got partially restored when he woke up in resuss and tried to interfere with the doctors!! His consultant here has promised me that he will tell me if there is no hope.. at present there is, be it however small, but it still something..

I sit writing this at 5am because I just cannot sleep.. we are in a room straight across the hall from his bedside and I know they would call us if there was any change but I cannot relax and I cannot switch off.. this morning was too scary, too real, too fresh in my mind still..

Pray for him, pray for us.. <3